hoping

it has been a few years since i experienced the frustration in February. as i was driving Kiara to playschool today i was wishing i had a magic wand to wave across the city to remove the snow and ice! if only it were that simple.

frustration in February? we have a few days where the sun shines, the air is "warmer" and puddles form. then we dip into nearly below 30 Celsius for a few days. this year it is very pronounced. all of us are tired to death of the snow pants and other layers involved.

i would have to say that my kids are handling it  MUCH better than i am.





i came across this photo from last year. the windrows rise to the lower level of branches this year.

we may need a canoe or rowboat to take the kids to school in a few weeks. i think many of us have given up on the removal of ice from our sidewalks. especially when you see the snow piles that have yet to melt!

i've pulled out all the hearts and valentine decorations i've made in the past. i also found old photos from my nearly month long scrapbook class with Wilna Furstenberg. every day i (and the kids!) enjoyed a video and photos for the project of the day. i should get out my archives from that class because i didn't have time to make everything. my favourite valentine projects were made from her inspiration. i still have supplies that i purchased with the intent to create....and sitting still waiting for me!

it really makes me happy to still be happy over projects i made 2 years ago! and think they are still great! ha!

i've come across other inspiration this year too. i think our fireplace needs a heart banner.


i've become very nostalgic the past few weeks. thinking back and looking back at photos of the kids.




those days. tiny cramped house. don't miss that! i envy the time we used to have together. i love that i have a bit more freedom of my own while they are in school. but i miss the toddler and preschool activities that we used to do together. the free time. even the constant messes! {the 'messes' seem to have gotten crazier with age} i don't know what spurred on this activity. it even involved stuffing their little backpacks with more gear. those days were so intense too. funny how that part is so easy to forget!



morning yogurt and crazy hair in 2009.



yogurt and crazy hair in 2010. apparently some things never change!



he was so proud of himself for making his own sandwiches in 2009. well, he still is. but now he uses the "but you make them soooo much better, mom!" if he doesn't want to make his own. i'm very much hoping he can eat peanut butter in a few weeks. hate having to be on the cautious side with his diet.



2010. thank goodness for the wii to help us cope with winter blahs. he still enjoys doing this same activity this year. except now he knows how to get it started without my help. which is good, because it always confuses me! he told me last night that he was very excited to learn what all the buttons do on the tv remote. TreeHouse TV has now been replaced by YTV. i still remember when he could watch Bob the Builder and Toopy and Binoo for as long as he was allowed.


i am so grateful that they still enjoy playing pretend together. they both love being outdoors. even in the cold!

they become more independent each day. as much as i love it, it is harder than i thought having them be so. our little world is changing.

i never thought i would have enjoyed the past 6 years with having young kids and babies. i always knew i would enjoy them from grade one onwards....and was taken by surprise with how much i loved the years leading up to that. never would have guessed that Aidan's first smile (at only a few hours old) would have made me melt the way it did. there is nothing like having your own child look into your eyes. with happiness or sadness.

i am sad that Aidan has several hours with his friends and teachers that i miss out on. an entire day of events, feelings, moments that i miss. his own world. i never thought i would miss that part of their childhood. it leaves me astonished that i could have ever thought that way!

as much as miss him, i am grateful that he is able to experience life on his own. he's safe. he's protected and cared for. he's more independent and responsible. there are things that just have to get done at home. whether it is necessary cleaning or shopping. or even something for me to enjoy on my own. like reading without being interrupted. i have to remind myself that he did not get my 100% attention all day at home.

motherhood brought out a soft and sensitive side of me that i never knew i had. i now get emotional and tear-eyed when i least expect it. i become very angry and irritated if i see my kids being treated less than i think they deserve.

some days the responsibility of being the mom leaves me entirely exhausted. i wish life had a pause button. or even rewind. kind of like PVR. i hate to miss out on anything. but i get overwhelmed at times too. laundry piles. dirty dish piles. dust bunny piles. dirty sinks and towels! fingerprints everywhere.

i am forever grateful for friends who are far ahead of me in child years. they have spotless and silent houses (for hours at a time). they remind me that i will one day not have fingerprints or piles of work to catch up on. they tell me stories about when their kids were the ages of mine. they share how far of a distance their kids are now and how little they sometimes see them. they remind me to be grateful for where i am at today.

even so, i think we all like to have a few moments to wallow in our own self-pity.

before i had kids, my self-pity days involved wishing i could be at home. unshowered. wearing pj's.

when the kids were small and sick we were all unshowered and wearing pjs. and i wished i was clean, fresh and dressed up, out of the house, with other responsibilities.

funny how life works.

and thank goodness February is the shortest month of the year. with even more gratitude that my life really is blessed. and, yes, winter will not last forever.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:"

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

changes

earlier i had posted about an interesting posting from Cosmo Cricket (one of my favourite scrapbook supply companies).

the reason behind that was i could relate to the "being selfish for the purpose of being selfless" and "reward" discussion.

i agree that we can get lost in our role as moms, and forget that taking care of ourselves is important to our kids. i'm not yet dressing in skirts and heels at home, but some make-up or jewelry for no reason is closer to my style! when i was teaching the preschool kids i dressed similar to the way i did at home. i would never wear my best clothing if we were painting or doing something equally messy. if i'm cleaning or involved in something messy at home, i also don't 'dress up'.

i had an interesting discussion with Aidan one day last year. he had commented on a classmates' mother. she came in to help regularly. Aidan told me that she always looked nice when he saw her. it was the first time i realized that our kids love to be proud of their moms too and want us to look our best.

when i was teaching i do recall feeling badly for kids who came to school in dirty clothes, messy hair, etc. on a regular basis. their confidence often matched their appearance. not sure if they lacked confidence to dress nicely or didn't care about their appearance because they lacked confidence. or what order it came in? i think we are called to look our best. kids and parents. inside and outside. i also realize it is a bit of work to keep my kids dressed nicely. especially when they seem to grow an inch a day!! we all have our favourites, and my kids are no different. it is tough for them when their favourite t-shirt is too stained to wear outside of the house, or is too small. they are fortunate to have very full closets with lots of choices, but still tough to make sure the clothing is the correct size! it is a part time job some days.

when i stopped bringing home the regular paycheck myself, i also stopped investing in new clothes. it also was more complicated to shop with kids in tow. or arranging to go when they could be not-in-tow! after i started to work at the scrapbook store, i realized how 'kid-friendly' my wardrobe had become. i think i have a long way to go, but it was the encouragement i needed to shop for things that weren't always practical. it is nice to have some grown-up clothes to wear once in awhile. it is a work in progress.

i have also decided that our home is another place for our kids to be confident in. our basement was neat and organized when we moved. except for the pile of boxes and containers that needed to get sold or donated. after a year, and some changes the basement became more of a dungeon than a play space. with some rearranging, purging and organizing....it is now a safe and fun place. i want the kids' friends to enjoy playing here! Kris was home between Christmas and New Years, so that afforded me the time to devote to getting things better.

for me it is sometimes hard to find the balance between clutter and comfort. i love to be surrounded by nice things, and my counters are rarely bare. yet after some time, i start to breathe differently if there is too much clutter for my liking around me. i have to say that it is MUCH easier to handle clutter when pretty much everything has a place to be kept. i'm still figuring out what works for me and my family. for now, the kids' stuff each has a basket to be held, until i file it or throw it away. i realized when we were selling our old house that i did love my home to be clean and spotless. however, it also brought a certain degree of discomfort as well. oh, the balance!

once the basement was looking better, i knew it was time to move on to other rooms. along with the purging and organizing i also came to the conclusion that some of our possessions did not need to stay with us. unless it has a deeper meaning (like the needle work my grandmother made, or the oil painting my other grandmother made...both not my style, and not fitting anywhere), then the "just-stuff" needs to find a new home with someone else.

it took me a year to finally decide on the colours i wanted to paint the kids' rooms. with their permission, of course! after the basement was looking better, i was ready to commit. i had been uncertain with doing the work myself....questioning the quality of my painting! then i was reminded...'they are bedrooms...not beyond trying on my own.' Aidan had dreams of me painting a type of mural....when i told him that was beyond my talent, he was shocked. 'but you are so artistic, mommy', he replied. that sweet compliment also boosted my confidence!

Aidan has been firm that he has wanted a blue room. Kiara stayed adamant that hers must be pink.

i still think (especially after painting) it has been to our advantage that the previous owners did not add any new, non-builder colours. the main colour is Barn Swallow and the secondary colour is Grey Hearth. they are both good colours. i know we would have never chosen the grey colour, but we have really loved the contrast it has in the rooms.

they are neutral colours, but not exactly the kind of colour loved by kids!




the "BEFORE" picture is in Aidan's room. i didn't take one of Kiara's. same colour, different walls. ha! aside from the window (and clutter) there would be no difference.

if i had realized how badly the professional painter had made the cut lines, i would have repaired that before i started to paint. when you first looked at the edges, there were a few obvious paint mistakes...which we gave credit to the previous owners. guessing that they messed up when they spot painted before selling. they may take credit for some of it. unless you are looking closely for crooked lines, or misses...i don't think they are that recognizable.

the plan is for our real professional painter to repair the mistakes when we get the main part of the house repainted later. still undecided if later will be in the near or far future. i have some areas i need to patch and short walls to paint. if the spot painting is really obvious....then the professional painting will happen sooner!

all my paint colours are Benjamin Moore. i personally LOVE how they arrange their fan decks, and their  historical and classic colour collections. so far i have not been disappointed or mislead by the colours.



i am glad that Aidan INSISTED on blue. i chose to do 2 colours. the main colour is van courtland blue. while the theme wall is phillipsburg blue. i was worried that the second colour would be too purple...a problem i have had in the past! Aidan wanted as dark of a blue as we would allow. if he had it his way, it would have been nearly black! only because he wanted it to look like outer space.

initially i was going to keep the main colour as barn swallow (an ICI colour), and paint 2 of the walls van courtland. so glad Aidan refused to think that was a good idea.

his opinion on the after? he liked "his blue" better than "mom's blue". too funny.

i discovered that the grey undertones in the van courtland are very strong in dim light. i LOVE it when a single colour gives off different tones in differing lights.





i'm still not sure if i made a good choice using 2 contrasting colours here. i love each of them on their own. there is no way i could have handled an "all pink" bedroom. but i know that Kiara would not have been happy if there was no pink. this was the compromise.

the next item on the kids' rooms list is the furniture and decorations. i have some wall decals for the kids, but plan to put them on the walls next month. it takes at least 30 days for paint to cure....i'm concerned the removable stickers will peel off the paint when they are removed....even though we plan to keep them for several years. is that a realistic concern?

Aidan just had his desk set up last night. the shelf we want is on backorder. we've decided to remove a dresser and adjust his closet to make up the loss. i think his room would be too crowded if it remained. the desk will be well used in the future, and much appreciated by him in the meantime. sadly, his room is looking more like a "big boy" room. less and less of a little rowdy boy.

i'm undecided if i will replace Kiara's dressers or refinish them. the one dresser would look so cute white and distressed, then with cute girly handles/knobs added!! i found a fabulous dressing table with attached mirror that she would LOVE. she's not quite ready for a desk...but it is in her near future too. one of the shelves in Aidan's room will become hers for her doll house.

there you have it! not before/after photos. more like before/in progress! now that the painting is complete, i cannot wait to finish them off.

for me the reward is that sense of accomplishment. i still have other areas of the house that are due for re-organization and purging. it will happen. for now, the small changes are making this house feel more like our home. i'm letting go of some bad habits and making changes that will be more beneficial to ALL of us!

it has been a tough few years. much more that i have not mentioned. however, i feel like the changes happening in the rooms of our home are a good sign. a sign that i am coming back!

and my reward for the long days cleaning and painting?

heehee....

shopping and scrapbooking.

yes. you shouldn't be surprised!



next goal: finish decorating the rooms
next reward: more shopping and scrapbooking

i think the rewards and goals benefit all of us. don't you?!

note this!

getting back into routines....fun!

purging, organizing, cleaning, decorating....lots of work, but makes me breathe MUCH easier knowing it is getting done. finally!

now painting. i was soooo nervous about doing it. the change is good. so far the right colours have been chosen. sigh of relief!

i was taking a break and did some blog reading. this was a very inspiring post at the Cosmo Cricket blog . go check it out!

back to work i go....

here we are

funny how far away December looks on November 20. suddenly we are here! never mind the list Santa has been making....i have my own these days.

amazing how life grinds to a sudden halt when someone gets sick. my life has been based at home for the past week and a bit. plans got changed. as friends and neighbours caught that horrid stomach bug, we watched them get beat by it. hoping that we could be lucky and avoid it. yet wondering if we can. if we will. you know the kind of vain hoping i'm talking about.

so lil' miss K got it first. she usually does. the last time she had the stomach flu she was sick for weeks, with Christmas right in the middle of it. i've never seen a person so ill before. thankfully this was much more normal. her recovery was just a matter of a few days. but it is still hard to see her sick and her little body praying that it will end. she missed only one morning of playschool and two mornings of playing with friends. a big deal to her, but nothing really. then Aidan. then me. when i'm sick, just let me watch tv and give me space. after 2 days of tv, i am so sick of it! i was grateful that we decided to install cable again. even though it was just basic.

in the middle of all this we had a healthy-ish day here and there.



the lights got put up. yay!



Aidan put together the car set he got from Santa a few weeks ago. he had been anxious to do this for a few weeks.



Kiara asked to paint as well. this was the most interesting project i've seen her do. she had 2 pictures going at the same time. apparently the one on the tablet was her practice one, and the other was the real deal. we thought it was a snowman. however she explained that it was a skeleton. okay... regardless i was amazed at her precision with the paint and brushes.



i am so curious what she will be doing in a few years' time.

i bribed both kids heavily over a month ago to come with me to HomeSense. i wanted to go, but did not want to deal with irritable children at the same time. they were great. the store had just put their first round of Christmas decorations out. Kiara saw a lot of things she loved, and a PINK nutcracker was one of them. she loves to watch Barbie and the Nutcracker, a movie i picked up at a garage sale for $1 last year. i didn't think it was as much of a favourite as Tinkerbell. anyways that is the only connection she has to a nutcracker that i'm aware of.

a few days later she saw Santa at the kids' Christmas party. she told him she wanted a pink nutcracker and was ecstatic when he said that he would make sure she got it. it is the same response every time i ask  her what she wants for Christmas. not even the colour changed.

eventually i know my kids will understand the truth about Santa. however, that day is not now.

sigh.

i went out in search of that perfect pink nutcracker last weekend. would you believe all the pink was sold out?! all that was left were 3 purple nutcrackers (one of which was broken). thus the conversation with my daughter: "what if Santa didn't count right and he doesn't have enough pink nutcrackers?" her response, "then he will bring me a purple one." end of story. so the PURPLE nutcracker came home.


here is the best part. i know, can you believe it gets "better"?!

life in the house was a bit chaotic that evening and i never got that purple soldier properly hidden. forgot about it. yes. big mistake. this is the same girl who can find hidden chocolate in the dark. 

today i was in a cleaning and organizing mode. while i was busy, so was Kiara. she comments off-handedly that Santa could not bring her a pink nutcracker, but would bring a purple one instead.

feigning stupidity, i ask her why. she did the same, pretended to be stupid and didn't answer my question. {can you not see the 2 of us 10 years from now?!}

i continue to clean hoping that perhaps she really was being stupid. but trying to admit to myself that i was probably completely had!


then the PURPLE NUTCRACKER appeared. with the receipt!

and an announcement: "Mom, look what Santa brought me!"

so the truth is: we are both stupid. truly.


how does a mother ever explain that a gift from Santa arrives early. for only one member in a family.

i asked my 6 year old if he had ever heard of a child getting a present such as Kiara did. let the child lead us all and bring some wisdom to this ridiculous situation that i can only blame myself for.

so, as the kids see it: Santa brought a gift early. and we don't know why. but we are not sending it back.


so there the PURPLE nutcracker sits by the fireplace with the rest of the holiday decorations.

how did i ever get to be so lucky?!! isn't it every mothers' dream to have a purple nutcracker sitting by their fireplace? i can't help be totally confused as to WHO would be buying pink nutcrackers. other mothers? what is this world coming to?!!


on the good side. i finally have a few decorations up. gingerbread, icing and candies have been purchased. Christmas music is playing. Christmas will come whether the list gets checked off or not!

taking time

to capture those memories. last week flew by for us! it was good, but incredibly busy.

i woke up on Friday morning and was worried if i would have enough energy to get through the day, let alone be awake for a long shift at Urban Scrapbook. by lunch i found that much needed second wind and it stayed with me longer than i needed.

i thank a restful day and Starbucks for that. ha! for someone who loves their coffee as much as myself....to wake up to only a few beans in the grinder was not helping my tired state. i did not even have the energy to walk to the store to grab a cup! or beans.

actually we have been buying the bag of Starbucks beans at Costco. my friend, Kathy, tipped me off on that. seriously i don't know how we ever missed seeing them for sale. we've been lovers of their roast ever since!

we took the instant VIA coffee when we went camping. not as good as the brewed kind but a major improvement over the alternative grocery store brands. phew!



at times i miss the big old apple tree in our old yard. until now. i don't mind having apples around to make treats with. BUT it always ended up being several days in the kitchen. sometimes even the nicest end of summer days.

we were surprised to see that the apples continued to grow on our brand new tree. they are so red! it is good that fruit trees grow quickly. by the time it is full and plentiful i will have 2 more helpers to process the apples. perhaps equalling less time in the kitchen for all of us? i hope.

the amount of rain this summer has been incredible.

last year we had the biggest struggle to keep the grass growing. this year, it wants to grow everywhere. including our lovely cedar bark chip beds. ugh! it does not look nice at all. hopefully Kris will have successfully killed it off and covered it with more bark chips by the end of next weekend. after last summer we would have never thought this possible.



lil' miss Kiara was not a happy girl. i really loved the photo opportunity as she came stomping down the green belt. since she demanded i stop taking photos...i had actually moved the camera away from my face....so as to appear to be complying to her wishes! uh huh. tell me YOU have never done that! but see. i think this is one of my favourite photos of that series. she will thank me later. much later. anyways, i think she owes me. the lovely 'threes' where the kids listen soooo well!!



the overcast sky was good for something that day.



she did not need this outfit. but it better fit her next summer too! it was too cute to put back on the rack.


we are in the last days of summer. the empty kids pool is taunting us as it is leaning against our fence. i keep hoping for some hot days so that it can be refilled and enjoyed just one more time. September 2009 was hot enough at the end of the month for a pool day. i keep hoping. with our luck the snow will fall early.

just for the record....if that happens....we MUST get away for some mid-winter sun exposure. for the good of all society. really.


other than hoping for sun....it looks to be another busy week. not as busy as last week. but busy enough. i'm thrilled that my recent layout class filled up. as well as the other classes being offered. even the late night crops are becoming popular again. one of the major scrapbook supply companies just released some amazing new papers. i think nearly every customer on Friday purchases at least one item from that series. i've already created one layout from the amazing amazing! paper. check my projects blog to view it. the rest of us are swooning over the new papers due to arrive. can't wait!

Aidan is nearly bursting with excitement over starting back at school. we all got to take a tour today. the classrooms are not all that exciting. however the common areas have finally been designed to be useful! it is intended to have all the latest and greatest technology...however it is all still arriving and awaiting to be hooked up. for now they have three grade one classrooms, with the possibility of a fourth. {compared to my 1977 grade one class of 6 students combined with the grade two and three classes.....this will be quite amazing.} they already have 5 kindergarten classes. the school has officially been given its first challenge!

okay, must get off the computer....

someone has too much time on their hands?!

early this spring i read this line from Kayla Aimee's blog post:
  "my neighbors put gnomes in their yard. i would like to have veto power over that."

it is part of her "first home" saga. her stories always crack me up!

in total irony....the VERY NEXT DAY....our neighbours' girlfriend put out a garden gnome.

i could not help but laugh over the comment Kayla had made and this occurrence. seriously, i am not sure if i had seen garden gnomes in real life before that week. the only comment that came into my mind was: "oh, you are one of THOSE PEOPLE!" which may not have been the best comment i could have made. since we had not had that many conversations prior to that. {we have chatted numerous times since and i think she realizes that i'm not as rude as i first made myself out to be!!}


i did not realize that our neighbour had put out a garden gnome last year. the neighbour on his other side had commented as well. i did not know about that until recently as well.



enter to present day.




about a week ago they left for a short holiday. 11 days.



we live in the house beside him. on the left. my neighbour, Sandy lives beside him, on the right.


one day our kids were playing. which means we were cooling off with some wine in the shade. somehow the topic of the "traveling gnome" came up. we decided that it was time the gnomes were given a well deserved vacation of their own.

not having time to travel with them. we took their photos and photoshopped them into old photos. heeeheee




did i mention that this was where "their owners" went for their holiday?



and they went here. looked like they felt at home.



all i can say is CS5 rocks!!!



i think we got to having too much fun here!


the gnomes were returned this weekend. with about a dozen photos of themselves. complete with a note. incredible little guys even managed to ring the doorbell on their own.

our original intention was to return the gnomes before they got home. then send the photos in the mail or something. it did not go quite according to our plan. which is just as well. i think the final result was much funnier!!



there is so much more to the story....like a 3rd gnome that was mysteriously left on Sandys' doorstep with a note for the "gnome-knappers". at which point her 3 year old son picked him up while she was doubled over in laughter. then he dropped the crazy gnome, breaking his foot and hat. quickly thinking, she did the same....and put the broken foot in a bag and left a note "this time it's a foot, next time it might be an ear".... i think it horrified our neighbours, and they proceed to act upset and angry. i'm sure it was all an act. really sure.


our husbands were tortured by the guilt and let out some comments lending the neighbours to learn who was behind the really super funny prank. heehee


our children were left confused and threatened to not say a single word about 'the incident'. did i mention we are very caring and loving mothers?


and now we wait.


and plot the gnomes' holiday plans for next summer.


and be on guard for any kind of revenge. although there was a loud party last night. maybe the revenge has been had?!



for now....i think these photos will make some pretty awesome layouts!! Kristian was sure to tell they kids that mommy deleted them from photos and replaced them with gnomes. hmmm....now if that doesn't give the sweet children nightmares.....

in another blur

June is an exhausting month. for everyone.

the days are long and the nights are short in this part of the world. meaning the sun will barely set June 21, before it begins to rise again. although the sky does darken, you can still see a bit of the sun shining in the northern horizon.

for a parent it is like a death sentence. especially for those of us with small children! the kids' rooms do get quite dark. and so does the house. i think it is more mental than anything. they just know it seems wrong to fall asleep when the sun is shining. especially when they are tired.

morning also arrives earlier. often it brings me children who are still tired. but won't sleep.

it really is a lovely combination!

my only goal was to survive June and welcome July with wide open arms.




this week, we finished gymnastics.




this mommy was cheering!



we were regular students for 10 months straight.



10 months of a lesson pretty much every week can really teach you a lot.

Aidan has the strength to pull his own body weight over a parallel bar and roll.



as well as climb into the rafters. i am surprised this photo is as clear as it is because my knees were shaking!! it did not surprise me when Kiara asked to climb next. without hesitation my response was "NO!!!!" well not quite like that. it was more like....'yes, when you are 5 years old'. my kids do not know that i am afraid of heights. i have missed out on some amazing opportunities because of it. i am improving, but it is a slow journey.



this little girl may look like me. but she has her fathers sense of fearlessness. (as well as his sense of direction....but that is an entirely new subject!)


today, Aidan and his classmates went off to a play place not far from their school. i think they played till their feet were ready to fall off! they ended their year with a BBQ. hot dog heaven?!

and yes, as we walked away from the school....after the good-byes....the hugs....the photos.....i cried. it has nothing to do with dreading summer or wishing for year round schooling. it just meant an end to a fabulous year for Aidan and us. in terms of school. i know he will have many more excellent and amazing school years. however it does not change that this year ended. he really had the most fabulous teacher, teacher assistant, bus drives, friends....

his summer break started with some pool time.



this pool gets drained and re-filled on a new green spot every 2 to 3 days. today is day 2. the water was actually very comfortable. they love to splash and fool around.



and sometimes they will just relax.

yes, that is exactly why i love summer!!!

today they played with some neighbours and had fun with all 4 of them splashing around in the pool.

then i noticed Aidan starting to fall apart. his stomach hurt. his head hurt. yup! i think we caught his heatstroke just in time. he normally drinks water by the bucketful. i'm not sure how much he had to drink this morning. somehow he must have sweat more than he took in. plus it was HOT HOT HOT today. he did not drink nearly as much water as usual during the afternoon play time.

i know my kids are not well when they refuse a treat like a popsicle. Kiara grabbed one as quick as she could. while Aidan just groaned. soooo out came the ice chips. cold cloths. then the advil! after about 30 minutes of slowly adding some water he began to perk up. the flush in his cheeks disappeared. his cute smile slowly returned.

after a few episodes of Design Squad, he was almost as good as new.

he had mint chocolate chip ice cream with hardened chocolate on top. the appetite returned!

but he still looked exhausted. daddy is away tonight, so we watched a movie together. of course they stayed awake, while i fell asleep! hopefully they will rest well tonight.



i took this photo a few days ago. this is not an everyday sight in our home. i hope that we will have many more moments like this together in the next couple of months.

it just amazes me how quickly the two of them have grown and matured. this will be their first summer of being on nearly even stages of play. their communication has improved. they work together more often than not. they both really want to be with each other 90% of the time. unfortunately they just don't realize the other 10% that they really need some time away from each other!

i have activities planned through the summer months that should give them a break and keep them from becoming too bored. they are becoming more independent and easier to go on outings. gone are the days when i have to be like a mother hawk and totally focused on their exact motivation to stay or 'run for it'! the boundaries are just that much larger. some days i forget that i don't have to hover and they are both responsible enough to not take off and strand me!!

i am thankful for the close community and space they have to play. often there is a friend near by. or some kind of activity to occupy them. i am looking forward to the relaxed schedule allowing walks, bike rides and adventures. Aidan wants to do a lemonade stand. it is entirely possible that it will be a huge success! they are also begging for a camping trip. or 2 or 10!

well, off to relax and welcome in summer vacation with a quiet evening to myself.

happy summertime!!!

the things they say

many years ago i got a tip from a fellow teacher. he commented how interesting conversations between kids got when they didn't think you were listening. he was referring to a day when he drove a group of the students on a field trip and they chatted happily in the backseat. he also learned things about them that were really interesting. {this theory could also explain why kids are so loud in the car...they think the parents turn off their ears!}


what i am noticing at this stage of our family is the interesting things they learn or think they learn. goes back to the old adage, "don't believe everything you hear". better yet, a reminder to my teaching days when i used to frequently say, "if you believe everything your child says that happens at school, then i'll believe everything they say that happens at home". 


early in the school year i overheard Aidan tell Kiara not to make funny faces. his reason was that her face would stay that way. 
ha! sound like something your mother told you? 
at this point, i had not said that to my kids. after a few questions i learned that one of his classmates told him this news of great importance. it was also determined to be true because "his mother told him". 

last night i was privileged to listen to another conversation of great importance to the universe. a few boys chatting during a soccer break.

first kid: "my mom said i have potatoes growing in my ears"

second kid: "my mom says i have honey growing in mine"

{note the "my mom says" holds great value here}

then my son pipes up: "i have an eardrum"

{note that he does not begin his statement with "my mom". it should also be noted that he loves to read any book of research on space, the human body or star wars.}

at that point the conversation switched to another topic. we all "love" a little nerd shaking up the thought process that a mom's statement can be wrong. gasp!

the other night he accidentally kicked one of the mom's feet. i think his legs are growing too quickly that he doesn't realize where they are half the time. i asked him to apologize with a quick sorry even though he didn't intend to do it. he was not so willing. the parent was fine and understood, but he's old enough to accept the consequences to his actions. even if it was accidental and no one was hurt. i want him to be considerate of others and not be selfish or develop a mean reputation.

it took a few minutes, but he finally managed to get the words out.

later, he commented about the situation. he said that he didn't like some of the things her son tried to get him to do. he also felt a bit bullied by the boy. i'm right there watching most of this, so i understood what he was saying. he does what he can to handle himself with him, but will come escape to me if it is more than he can handle. as it turns out he didn't want to apologize to the mother of this boy who was so unkind to him and the others on their team.

i found his perspective interesting.





last night they played a team that was quite aggressive. there were a few tears from several of the players on our team. at one point there was a pile up and the ball was in the middle. Aidan was one that was on the bottom of the pile and near the ball. the kids are so young that all they can think about is to kick the ball! in the commotion, Aidan ended up getting kicked a few times in his leg. it took every ounce of strength in me to not cry with him. sometimes parenting just sucks!

when he started to feel better he told me that he wanted to take more gymnastics classes. as i listened i couldn't help but remember the day when Kiara fell and how i felt about it. i was beginning to contemplate keeping my kids in a padded room! he explained to me, if he could take twice as much gymnastics then he would be strong enough to go back to soccer and not let anyone hurt him.

where do they find the reasoning to think of this stuff?!


when his daddy was a boy, he attended a pretty rough school. i think he saw more nasty stuff in those first 10 years of his life than others do in their lifetime. {i am friends with one of his teachers, and she has quite a few crazy stories as well. runaway kids at recess. knives in the classroom. stories that make you cringe and thank God for your present situation!}
a few of the kids did not like being bullied by the gang members. {imagine that!} instead, they formed their own gang of the "good guys". Kris was the gang leader. {oh the irony!} we don't plan to set Aidan up for the same experiences as his daddy...but i think that "must help the less fortunate" mentality must be very much a part of his own personality.

putting on my running shoes

if you think of it, keep my friend, Sandy in your prayers. she has been mourning the loss of her only sister this week. it was sudden and tragic. tomorrow they say their final good-byes and attempt to move on in their lives without her. she was only a year older than myself. 

on a less solemn note....


we finished the winter session of gymnastics yesterday.



i can vividly recall sitting at our kitchen table with the yellow pages back in January 2007. Kiara was only a few months old and Aidan had more energy than he could handle. it was also cold! no playground days and we both needed something. his library group and kids morning out groups were not enough for him! and me. i jotted notes while i called pretty much every gymnastics club in the city. in the end we all ended up going to a 'parent and tot' program.



wee little Kiara would watch from her infant car seat most days. the program required parents to assist their own children, and the instructor would help with the more "dangerous" manoeuvres (as when they were doing a somersault or the rings). i also recall having to stop and feed Kiara a few of the times. even though i planned her feedings around the classes, it just seemed like she got hungry just watching the kids. it was oh, so blissful when she did sleep for the class. often i would wear my Baby Bjorn and carry her on the course. it was a little tricky at times. i still remember how exhausted i was at the end of the class! funny how tired a mother becomes trying to tire out her toddler.



the next year, Aidan was still too young to be on his own and Kiara was too little to be worth paying to participate. as it happened we got a time slot that was late afternoon and the gym was crazy busy. at the same time Kristian had changed jobs and was working all days of the week. halfway through the session, Kiara was getting to tough to watch and allow me to properly help Aidan. i left her with a sitter when it was possible. one day i managed to get a sitter to come with me and play with her. i think that experience nearly made the new babysitter retire entirely! a little extra cash made her forget the trouble.

 i finished that year with both of them in the 6 week spring session. why? because i felt i needed to give Kiara a full opportunity to participate. ironically, she was a good listener and follower in those days. i also felt a little guilty for not paying for her session for the days when she was there following the kids around. this was not easy. it meant her playing (ie. running up and down stairs and hallways) for the hour Aidan was in class. it also meant him sitting on a bench watching Kiara for the second hour. he always had a snack and bag of activities to help prevent boredom. 

i was singing hallelujahs the next year when Aidan could be in his own class, unassisted and Kiara could be in a class at her level. at the same time. half the work. half the time. 

it must be a grand improvement, because i now drive nearly 20 minutes for their lessons. we have also been enrolled steady since September. usually we don't do gymnastics in the fall. it's a winter thing for us. i also made a mental note to NOT enrol in the spring session. May is fine, but by June we are sick of it!

and i was proud of myself for remembering this important tidbit of information.



then Aidan was invited to join the "Super-Tot" program because he had some talent. for the spring session. he now has a 90 minute session while Kiara is at 60 minutes. this sounds so familiar! the day i made my final decision to not follow my own advice and stop in April, he did a super manoeuvre that made me realize that i made the right choice. on his own he did a "pull-over". which the coaches informed me was very rare for a child his age. Aidan has been on cloud9 because he is "super" and Kristian and i are saving for the olympic program. ha! just kidding. as it happens, the good gymnastic gene is genetic from his Daddy. i was trained to be fearful of heights, cartwheels and any other physical movement on land, water or sky. Kristian has had his work cut out to "un-train"me. laugh.



Kiara has some days where she can walk across this beam with confidence. only to be stricken with intense fear the next. perhaps there is some of my genetics in them after all. in all irony, what does this height-fearing mother do? tell her that there is no danger and to go do it anyway. after all, she had no issues with this when she was 9 months or 2 years old.

my plan is to prepare Kiara for the wait much as i made Aidan wait when he was this age. a snack, special drink and an activity bag. i will bring a book or magazine. and if all else fails, she can watch Dora on my iPod. nothing will prevent me from sitting, with minimal interruption from my most deserved 30 minute break. unless it is watching Aidan practice. which i have missed for the past 18 months. i have had to stop thinking about next September. when BOTH will be in un-parented classes. the only stress i will have remaining is to be forced to watch both of them perform tricky stunts and hope that they listen to the instructions.

has it only been 3 years of gymnastics? because it has felt MUCH longer than that. apparently toddlers with inconsistent listening skills will do that to you. in the past year we often have at least one parent who has 2 young kids in the class - like i did. i recognize the look of "what did i just do to myself?!" in their eyes. then i remind them that it does get better. true.

lately Kiara has been inserting her gymnastics routines with dance. she is not in dance class. yet. (fortunately that should provide me with another hour of sitting and watching.)

i should add that it is not the physical activity that is exhausting...it is the intense 60 minutes of encouraging a willful toddler to stay focused....and perform the routine as asked, and as you know she is capable of achieving.

i also realize that i may look at the moms with young kids and wish (for a moment) that i was back in that time of my life again. these days they often have accomplishments that happen while they are at school or when i am away from them. it was a wonderful gift to be able to spend these early years with them and be a part of their big developmental milestones.

i would do it all over again. they are both more confident. it is amazing to watch them do things that i never imagined possible. in my training for my B.Ed. degree we never went into this much detail in the gymnastics component. i am not aware of any school that has the money to put towards this equipment either. i got well educated as well. it was worth all the sweat and tears and dollars!!

i don't know what next year will hold. Aidan will be away at school all day. Kiara will still be free to do afternoon and some morning activities. i am looking forward to much that this next phase will offer. but it will present new challenges like choosing which activity to participate in. soon enough they will have their favourites and we'll need to decide which will work best for the family. secretly, Kristian and i can't wait to re-enter the triathlon world. this time with kids in tow. (don't worry, Carol, we'll teach them to be fast in the transition and not treat it like locker time! wink!!)

but for today, we will take on the challenges they give us and enjoy the moment.

cool stuff

back to school shopping gets more intense each year. wow! most years i have a huge stock of extra clothing for the kids that i've snagged at second hand sales. this year has not been so helpful. moving put a damper on that! it didn't seem like a great plan to buy more stuff that i had to pack. and then i spent so much time unpacking that i never had time to get out and find second hand stuff. hmmm... funny how that works.


Aidan was thrilled because he found a "Star Wars shirt all by himself". he can't wait to wear it. really. so far he's doing well with his patience.


Kiara, it turns out, loves to shop. it will be necessary for her to have a good paying job one day. she knows what she likes and doesn't like. all very interesting.


thankfully, my kids are not on to my deceptive methods yet. i agree to almost whatever item they choose. then some of those items get "left behind" on the way to check out.


i would like to know how a four year old boy can turn a perfectly good and whole pair of jeans into a useless pile of material in a day. i swear that a huge tear happens in minutes. too fast for my eyes to focus. it seems we all have our own deceptions.


i like to shop. i also like to window shop and dream. thank goodness for that!



for me. i have been eyeing these straps for awhile. this one by sugarpopcreactions even has a pocket for the lens cap. nice. wish i had thought of that one!

okay this one isn't for me. now that Kiara is actually growing hair i've been eyeing any kind of hair candy. this hair clip by louloudesigns would look so awesome with some of her new clothes. can you believe that she is wearing colours other than pink and purple? true! oh, one of our stops this week was at Clair's. it was so cute to watch Kiara! thankfully i found some elastics to get her to hold....slowed her down taking other stuff off the hooks. i think it is time to get her some jewelry. bracelets seem to be a favourite right now.

again, wish i had thought of this. mamamade is on to something. i would need at least a dozen. all in cute fabric.

which reminds me....

Amanda Soule has another book released. i will have to add that to my Christmas list....i loved her first book. mostly because it made me feel good. turns out i am doing some things right in terms of creativity with my kids. at least according to Amanda! hence the knitting adventures with Aidan and the painting escapes (or near misses) with Kiara.

off to do more dream shopping....

today

woke up to snow on the ground and falling. and Kiara up bright and early with the birds. i didn't not love that.


ironic to hear birds chirping and see snow on the ground.



Kristian back at work today. so happy to have him around the entire long weekend. sad kids to not have him at home again today. love that.



everyone is healthy. i think "the cold" has finally left our house.



i love that my little babies are now at the age where they use their imagination in their play.



i love that they are not perfect. i love that they are not what i expected.



everyday Aidan has his list of what he wants to do. and it is ALWAYS more than can be accomplished in a day! i can't help but wonder if he will continue to have these high goals for each day. and then i wonder how that will impact our family. i think he will keep our days interesting and full of zest!



Kiara usually starts her day by being by herself. she may very well be the ONLY morning person in our family. presently she has not really shared what she likes to do. although we know that certain activities are more fun for her than others. she is learning a lot these days. most of it is from her hero, her big brother.

after i had just started dating Kristian i was in my own happy world. love truly is a drug! as i was walking home one afternoon i quickly found myself daydreaming about this neat guy. which really should not be a problem....but i was in such a state that i ended up walking across a street with the little hand blaring red. i did not realize this until halfway across the street. it was just my luck that it was a quiet street and vacant from cars.

reality sometimes sucks! especially when the sidewalk is busy and when you "wake up" you are suddenly aware of other people and their stares. and quite possibly their shouts of warning which i do not recall hearing. maybe they were frozen in silence? no hiding who the dummy was that time!!

last night while i was watching the news i listened to this story. isn't it a shame that this kind of story is not more common. so common that to hear it told it really isn't a "news story". HOWEVER, i am glad that this story IS being shared. maybe it will be an inspiration or a motivation for other churches. other people. you.

it makes me ask the question,

"what are you doing to make a difference in the lives of others? in the lives of your family?"

an EXCELLENT reminder.

i still have a list of things to do before the move. they can wait. today we took time to hang out together and enjoy each other. this i love.

a ripple in the pond of life

today i have been trying to work on some paperwork associated with our upcoming move. i have come to the conclusion that all of the normal and smart people have started their weekend early. at least at the places i'm calling.


really.


time to stop and do something more positive and enjoyable. it seems that waiting another 4 days will be more productive. do i dare say that "procrastination wins"?!


enjoy your long weekend. i know that we plan to.

days of our lives

Monday.



it's don't sit and stop until it's done day.



so very happy that i could leave the house WITHOUT making the beds and dusting my floor!!



gymnastics.



volunteer for a field trip with Aidan's playschool class. transportation on a yellow bus. to a destination with a million and a half other children. counting to 7 {the number of kids in my group} repeatedly after each step. keep all kids from talking, clapping or otherwise noise-making during an hour of Mozart. listening to the kids compare Mozart to Baby Einstein. THAT was the hilight!! keep the same group of kids moving, with one child slumped fast asleep over my shoulder.



seriously.



the nice thing about preschoolers on a bus is that they have no idea how bad they can be! which is very different from field trips in the days when i taught grade six children. i grew up taking the yellow bus to school. when i mentioned this to Aidan, he looked at me like i was the most amazing mother on the planet.



no kidding.


(i wonder if blogger will allow me to insert separate paragraphs, or if it will cram these words into one huge paragraph?)






our little house used to have a pretty amazing lawn. and yard. until we built the garage. between the bobcat and the lumber, it was quite torn up.



love garage sale deals.

i had to laugh when i realized that they were playing golf for real. yes. for. real.

there is a hole left in the ground from one of the stakes in our garage building process. perfect for a game of golf. bet we won't be so lucky in our new house!!

aren't they great kids?!

one day at a time

so much has happened to our family in the past year.

looking at these photos reminded me of our life just one year ago. sometimes our lives change in seconds. and sometimes it is a long process of many days.

in our case it was months.

as tough as it was, i am thankful for the changes. and i'm grateful for that.

good reminders.

better

we survived terrible "two's"day.

we even made it through Wednesday...which i learned was the day of the full moon.

coincidence?

today the sun was shining. brightly. warmly. but better yet...the air was warm enough to get that snow melting!!

bring on spring! we are ready!!

Aidan was invited to a birthday party today of a classmate from playschool.

they partied at a nearby pool with waterslides, river and splash area.

Kiara and i crashed the party. the group of boys needed some estrogen in the air, i'm sure!

needless to say, we all had bundles of energy to burn and i think we succeeded. no exaggeration -- i think i saw all the boys vibrate with excitement at the start of the party. after the second hour, you could see they were moving a little more slowly!

i think we will all fall asleep quickly and sleep well tonight. at least i hope!

terrible "two's" day

we need spring!
if it never comes, we're moving to Australia!! (or somewhere where they don't have ridiculously long winters....)

i think we have spring fever. we don't want to leave the house. and we don't want to be in the house. what a terrible dilemna.

and a certain sweetheart needs a nap! yes that would be you, Kiara. you are having a "terrible twos" day.

sigh. if only moments like these lasted longer...

these are those terribly sweet moments that are simply far too fleeting at times.

i like it when this happens.

so cute...

this is a ritz cracker and prune sandwhich....yum?!

what a day. it is nearly bedtime. phew! at least tomorrow is a new day. will spring be here?