here he is!

my little sunshine.




we've been chatting a lot about "when we were young" in our house. there is a bit of confusion though. Kiara thinks she remembers what i {her mother} was like as a baby. they love to hear stories of things they did before they can remember. it has been a reminder to me how important it is to get those stories written down. the only problem is that time seems to be moving along more quickly than i can write and document!

the above photo was taken when he was about two and a half years old. how i would love to be able to have that old truck as a prop in a photo now. in 2006 my parents sold the farm i grew up on. the following spring they held an auction for anything that did not move with them. since my younger cousin and his wife bought the farm, this was not a problem. it was all a good thing. but it felt so odd to drive up to my childhood home that day, and have the main driveway roped off. i had to park in the field with the rest of the deal seekers.

that rusty old truck had been a part of the farm as long as my memory goes back. i even remember my dad remodelling the interior in the mid-70's. red vinyl. with brass studs. he was so proud of his work. he must have done a good job, because that is exactly what it looked like when it was sold at the auction! my parents spent many days preparing for the auction. i was asked about what i wanted, but it was hard to remember what was at the farm that i would be able to have. as it turns out a great deal of "junk" was taken to the community dump. towards the end of their clean-up, they apparently got tired. which is totally believable considering how many years worth of things they had to go through. there definitely is a lot of junk that accumulates in a farm. instead of hauling the junk to the dump, they massed it together onto a few flatbeds and sold them in groups. to their complete disbelief many people came and paid a lot of money for the junk. ha!

ok. got a bit sidetracked!

it is incredible to believe how big his world has become. {and don't remind me how it is still quite small!}




Kris took him skiing today. i wished i could have gone. not to ski, but to take photos! truthfully, skiing has not been something i want to do. i've done it. but there is no love. Kristian enjoys a good day of downhill skiing now and then. it appears that Aidan may just follow in his Dad's footsteps in this area too.

i got iPhone photos updating me on the excitement of the afternoon.

apparently Aidan was quite miffed at a few of Dad's rules:

he didn't think he needed to practice on the little bunny hill. {as it turns out, they ended up on the chair lift and went on the "steepest" hill. i guess our son got his Dad's skiing genes. took to skiing quite quickly.}

he didn't think it was wise to use the snow-plow to glide down the hill in a zig-zag pattern. {it made more sense to Aidan to go straight down the hill, and pick up speed.}


the few hours of skiing they managed to sneak in today was a dream come true for Aidan. he has been asking to ski for a few years now. finally! i'm glad to hear that they both enjoyed themselves.


since i couldn't get photos if him skiing, i had to take one before he left. Kris was outside just scraping up some of the ice, and getting the melting snow moving away from the sidewalk. usually Aidan would be right beside him. offering advice. asking to help. not this time. he was in the car and waiting! i can't say i blame him.

hoping

it has been a few years since i experienced the frustration in February. as i was driving Kiara to playschool today i was wishing i had a magic wand to wave across the city to remove the snow and ice! if only it were that simple.

frustration in February? we have a few days where the sun shines, the air is "warmer" and puddles form. then we dip into nearly below 30 Celsius for a few days. this year it is very pronounced. all of us are tired to death of the snow pants and other layers involved.

i would have to say that my kids are handling it  MUCH better than i am.





i came across this photo from last year. the windrows rise to the lower level of branches this year.

we may need a canoe or rowboat to take the kids to school in a few weeks. i think many of us have given up on the removal of ice from our sidewalks. especially when you see the snow piles that have yet to melt!

i've pulled out all the hearts and valentine decorations i've made in the past. i also found old photos from my nearly month long scrapbook class with Wilna Furstenberg. every day i (and the kids!) enjoyed a video and photos for the project of the day. i should get out my archives from that class because i didn't have time to make everything. my favourite valentine projects were made from her inspiration. i still have supplies that i purchased with the intent to create....and sitting still waiting for me!

it really makes me happy to still be happy over projects i made 2 years ago! and think they are still great! ha!

i've come across other inspiration this year too. i think our fireplace needs a heart banner.


i've become very nostalgic the past few weeks. thinking back and looking back at photos of the kids.




those days. tiny cramped house. don't miss that! i envy the time we used to have together. i love that i have a bit more freedom of my own while they are in school. but i miss the toddler and preschool activities that we used to do together. the free time. even the constant messes! {the 'messes' seem to have gotten crazier with age} i don't know what spurred on this activity. it even involved stuffing their little backpacks with more gear. those days were so intense too. funny how that part is so easy to forget!



morning yogurt and crazy hair in 2009.



yogurt and crazy hair in 2010. apparently some things never change!



he was so proud of himself for making his own sandwiches in 2009. well, he still is. but now he uses the "but you make them soooo much better, mom!" if he doesn't want to make his own. i'm very much hoping he can eat peanut butter in a few weeks. hate having to be on the cautious side with his diet.



2010. thank goodness for the wii to help us cope with winter blahs. he still enjoys doing this same activity this year. except now he knows how to get it started without my help. which is good, because it always confuses me! he told me last night that he was very excited to learn what all the buttons do on the tv remote. TreeHouse TV has now been replaced by YTV. i still remember when he could watch Bob the Builder and Toopy and Binoo for as long as he was allowed.


i am so grateful that they still enjoy playing pretend together. they both love being outdoors. even in the cold!

they become more independent each day. as much as i love it, it is harder than i thought having them be so. our little world is changing.

i never thought i would have enjoyed the past 6 years with having young kids and babies. i always knew i would enjoy them from grade one onwards....and was taken by surprise with how much i loved the years leading up to that. never would have guessed that Aidan's first smile (at only a few hours old) would have made me melt the way it did. there is nothing like having your own child look into your eyes. with happiness or sadness.

i am sad that Aidan has several hours with his friends and teachers that i miss out on. an entire day of events, feelings, moments that i miss. his own world. i never thought i would miss that part of their childhood. it leaves me astonished that i could have ever thought that way!

as much as miss him, i am grateful that he is able to experience life on his own. he's safe. he's protected and cared for. he's more independent and responsible. there are things that just have to get done at home. whether it is necessary cleaning or shopping. or even something for me to enjoy on my own. like reading without being interrupted. i have to remind myself that he did not get my 100% attention all day at home.

motherhood brought out a soft and sensitive side of me that i never knew i had. i now get emotional and tear-eyed when i least expect it. i become very angry and irritated if i see my kids being treated less than i think they deserve.

some days the responsibility of being the mom leaves me entirely exhausted. i wish life had a pause button. or even rewind. kind of like PVR. i hate to miss out on anything. but i get overwhelmed at times too. laundry piles. dirty dish piles. dust bunny piles. dirty sinks and towels! fingerprints everywhere.

i am forever grateful for friends who are far ahead of me in child years. they have spotless and silent houses (for hours at a time). they remind me that i will one day not have fingerprints or piles of work to catch up on. they tell me stories about when their kids were the ages of mine. they share how far of a distance their kids are now and how little they sometimes see them. they remind me to be grateful for where i am at today.

even so, i think we all like to have a few moments to wallow in our own self-pity.

before i had kids, my self-pity days involved wishing i could be at home. unshowered. wearing pj's.

when the kids were small and sick we were all unshowered and wearing pjs. and i wished i was clean, fresh and dressed up, out of the house, with other responsibilities.

funny how life works.

and thank goodness February is the shortest month of the year. with even more gratitude that my life really is blessed. and, yes, winter will not last forever.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:"

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

six more weeks of winter....

...ha!

last Friday we got some more snow and Kiara cheered. Aidan too. they were alone in their enthusiasm. one thing for sure is that if there are still snow piles in the backyard in June....there just may be unified groans from everyone in our house!

at least the days are getting more obviously longer. i like to see the sun still in the sky at 4pm. the sunsets are also very pretty at this time of year.

we have had a few days' break with warmer temperatures and the kids have been able to play in the backyard mountains.



all smiles. until the snow got in her boots!



as long as Kiara didn't get in his way, he had big smiles on his face too.



it took all night for his winter clothes to dry out in time! i think i threw them right in the laundry. figured they were soaking, they may as well drip dry after being cleaned.



both of the kids have been growing like weeds in the past few months. i lost track of the number of times Kiara had wet socks in the last two weeks from snow getting trapped into her boots. we managed to find an incredible sale on a new pair. then i realized that she also needed longer snow pants. we had a two sided problem on our hands! new boots, larger snow pants and she is much more content to play longer.

i played a trick on them a few weeks ago. we set out their clothes for the next day and they leave them on their beds just before bedtime. after they were asleep, i swapped their pants. it had been a cranky few weeks and we desperately needed a good laugh. a good laugh was had. Aidan just figured he grew overnight and Kiara thought she shrunk. okay, maybe i was the one laughing.


i was proud to hear that Aidan and some of his classmates would be reading a special poem in their all school assembly today. it meant that Kiara missed an entire swim lesson, but it was worth it to be there.

he looks so grown up standing there with his hands in his pockets.



every kid, teacher and some parents were in attendance. approximately 700 students from K-9. he was a bit nervous, but he did it. even managed a bit of a smile.



can't believe this is the same kid who refused to participate in a little church Christmas concert when he was 2 years old. okay, i know 2 is young. but the same trend continued as he got older! i'm proud of him because i know that i could not have done this at his age. i could barely stand in front of my classmates...and there were only 10 kids in my class at the time.


well off to ballet class with Kiara. should be fun!